The Twelve Days Before Christmas
by Jimelda
Summary: It’s almost Christmas time, but Kate and Aaron aren’t looking forward to spending the holidays without Jack. Is Kate going to get a Christmas miracle, or will this be the end of Jate?
1. Home Sweet Home

**Title: **The Twelve Days Before Christmas  
**Rating: **PG-13  
**Summary:** The Oceanic 6 will soon be celebrating their third Christmas off the island, but without Jack, Kate can't get into the holiday spirit. With some help from his friends will Jack be able to clean up his act in time for the holidays, or are Kate and Aaron doomed to spend Christmas alone? Jate.  
**A/N:** I know the Twelve Days of Christmas are actually _after_ Christmas, but I wanted to write a story that takes place before the holiday comes. I tried to make the timeline as accurate as possible, but I'm sorry if some dates and times are not correct. Spoilers for the flash forwards of season 4, especially "Something Nice Back Home" and for season 5.**

* * *

****Chapter 1: Home Sweet Home**

_Oh there's no place like home for the holidays.  
_'_Cause no matter how far away you roam  
__When you pine for the sunshine of a friendly gaze  
__For the holidays you can't beat home sweet home._

Sighing, Kate reached over and turned off the radio. She wasn't in the mood for cheery Christmas music and, looking around her quiet house, she realized that it was not the place she wanted to be at this time of year. She longed to be back on the Island. Even though no one realized when it had been Christmas, the feeling of being together with a group of friends was one that Kate missed. She liked always having people nearby that she could count on and thinking about it now made her feel homesick for the place that wasn't really a home. But being there had made her feel safe.

_Aside from the polar bears, monsters, Others and freighter people, of course_, Kate thought grimly to herself. But maybe part of the reason why the island seemed friendlier was the presence of Jack. He had always been there when she needed him and now he wasn't. With only twelve days left until Christmas, Kate had almost given up all hope of seeing him for the holidays. Because even though she was the one who had told Jack to get out – she didn't want him around her son – the thought of spending Christmas without him after all they had been through seemed more horrifying than anything on the Island.

"But it's your fault that Jack's not here now, Kate," she said aloud to herself. "So get over and it try to make this a good Christmas for Aaron." She knew it would be hard to act cheery, with the ache of Jack leaving still so fresh. Or at least, it felt that way to Kate. In reality, he had been gone for over three months. But every time she thought of him, it still hurt. And Kate thought about Jack all the time. So many things reminded her of him. The couch in the living room they used to sit on together, reading bedtime stories to Aaron, even riding in her car made Kate think of the times she had driven him to work.

Shaking her head, she tried to push away thoughts of Jack. He wasn't here for her now and she needed to stop wishing he was.

"Jack isn't coming back," she said firmly. Then, wiping away tears that she hadn't noticed until now, Kate walked up the stairs and went to wake her son.

After dropping Aaron off at school, Kate did some grocery shopping and then drove back home. Walking in the door, she decided that today was the day to do some cleaning. The house certainly needed it and Kate hoped the work would get her mind off of Jack.

She was vacuuming the upstairs hallway, however, when a call came that would change her plans.

Kate nearly tripped over the vacuum cord as she ran down the hall to grab the phone.

"Hello?" she answered, out of breath.

"Kate?" a voice on the other end asked.

"Yes, this is Kate Austen speaking. Who is this?" The line was silent and for a moment, Kate panicked, thinking it was Jack.

Then, "Kate, it's me. Sun." Kate breathed a sigh of relief; she wasn't in the mood to deal with Jack right now.

"Oh, Sun. How are you?" She couldn't remember the last time Sun, or anyone from the Island, had called to talk to her, except for Jack. But she never picked up the phone when it was him anyway.

"I'm fine, Kate. I called because I'm here in L.A. and I was hoping we could meet."

* * *

Sitting in the hotel room, Kate watched as Sun carefully poured two cups of tea. She took hers, grateful for a warm drink after battling the cold winds outside. Winter was finally here, and the weather was proving it with freezing temperatures and a light sprinkle of snow on the ground. Kate knew that it was uncommon for L.A. to get snow, and the fact that there was some this year did nothing to improve her mood. She had woken up feeling lonely and depressed and the drive to Sun's hotel only made her feel worse when the snow had started falling.

Sighing, she leaned back in her chair and took a sip of her tea. She found herself staring out the window and almost didn't notice that Sun was talking to her.

"Kate, can you hear me?" With an apologetic smile on her lips, Kate turned to look at her friend.

"Sorry, Sun. I was just thinking." As Sun looked at her in confusion, Kate had to stop herself from sighing again.

"What thoughts did you have that made you so sad?" When she didn't answer, Sun gave Kate a knowing look. "You need to stop thinking of him. It's almost Christmas and this time of year will be no fun for Aaron if you are unhappy." Kate blinked in shock. She was surprised that Sun was able to know exactly who she was thinking about. And she had already told herself this morning that she needed to be cheery for her son, so she was taken aback that Sun knew exactly what to say. She sat quietly for a moment, trying to think of some way to reply.

"Speaking of Aaron, how is Ji Yeon?" Kate asked, not wanting to talk about Christmas anymore. Sun frowned, but let her change the subject. She herself knew a thing or two about grief and she understood why Kate didn't want to discuss Jack any longer.

For the rest of the afternoon, the two friends got caught up with each other. They each talked about their children, work, and other safe topics. Neither of them mentioned the Island.

And when it was time for Kate to leave – she needed to pick Aaron up from school – she found herself wishing she could stay longer. She'd enjoyed pretending she had a normal life and was sad to go back to reality.

Before she left, Kate and Sun hugged each other and promised to make plans to get together again soon. Then Kate was gone, the sad look in her eyes as she walked out to door burned into Sun's memory. Wishing she could do something to help Kate, she paced around her hotel room until she had an idea.

Picking up the phone, Sun dialed a number she had made herself memorize in case of an emergency. As the phone rang, Sun kept replaying the afternoon over in her mind. Again and again, she saw Kate's smile fade away as they discussed Christmas. She remembered the way Kate had to hold back tears as they came close to talking about Jack.

_She shouldn't be alone this time of year_, Sun thought, feeling sad for her friend. _And I know just who can help._ Then someone on the other end of the line picked up and Sun forced herself to focus.

"Hello?" a voice asked.

"Hi, Hurley," she answered. "This is Sun."


	2. A Friend in Need

**A/N: **Sorry this took so long to write. I had a hard time coming up with ideas for this chapter and it has been a really busy week. I hope you enjoy, and reviews are always appreciated. ;)

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**Chapter 2: A Friend in Need**

_Here were are, as in olden days,  
Happy golden days of yore.  
Faithful friends who are dear to us  
Gather near to us once more._

Knock, knock, knock.

Jack's eyes flew open and he sat up. Too quickly, he realized as the world spun dizzily around him. He nearly fell off the couch, but soon regained some of his balance. Clutching his head in his hands, he waited for the pain to pass.

As it slowly faded to a dull throb in the back of his skull, he looked around in confusion. He thought he'd heard a knocking sound, but maybe it was only in his dream.

Sighing, he lay back down on the couch and tried to fall asleep again.

Knock, knock, knock.

There it was again and this time he knew he hadn't imagined it. His eyes scanning the room, Jack finally located the source of the noise. It was coming from the door. This surprised him, because no one ever came to his apartment. He wondered if the person was lost.

But the banging was not helping his headache, so he stumbled across the room before they could make any more noise.

Wrenching open the door, Jack prepared himself to shout at whoever was disturbing his sleep. His words stuck in his throat, however, when he saw an all-too familiar face standing in the hallway.

"What are you doing here, Hurley?" he asked gruffly, his words slurring a bit.

"Dude, you look terrible," his friend commented instead of answering the question. "I told you not to grow a beard." Jack laughed awkwardly until he realized Hurley was being serious.

"I needed a new look," he replied. Hurley looked at him skeptically and Jack knew he didn't buy it. But he couldn't admit that he just didn't care anymore, or that he couldn't be bothered to shave.

The two stood in awkward silence until Jack stepped out of the way and suggested Hurley come in.

Looking around Jack's apartment, Hurley was shocked at how messy it was. Maps and empty bottles littered the floor and there were piles of unwashed dishes in the kitchen.

"You ever think about...cleaning this place up a bit?" he asked. He watched as the man who had once been a fearless leader turned to stare at him with slightly unfocused eyes.

"Sorry, it's not usually this messy. But I wasn't expecting anyone today," Jack said and they both heard the lie in his voice. He walked slowly around the room, picking up a few bottles and plates and dumping them in the kitchen.

Staring at Jack, Hurley finally understood why Sun had called him. _It's not just his place that's a mess, _he realized. _Jack is too_.

When he had picked up the phone last night and heard Sun on the other end, Hurley hadn't known what to think. As she'd explained her plan, he had still been confused, but agreed to do it anyway. He wanted nothing more than to help Jack and Kate, even if he didn't understand why they needed help in the first place.

But seeing Jack like this, he knew why Kate wouldn't want to be around him anymore – especially now that she had Aaron to look after. Jack was clearly hung-over and seemed so defeated that Hurley wondered if he was going to accomplish anything by coming here.

"Hurley." It took him a moment to realize that Jack had been talking to him.

"Sorry. What, dude?" He stood in Jack's living room awkwardly while his friend sat on the couch. It took Jack a few moments before he thought to offer Hurley a seat. Looking around at his choice of either a chair covered in papers, or the couch, which looked like Jack had slept on it, Hurley decided to stand.

"So, what are you doing here?" Jack asked him again. Ignoring his look of impatience – which was the same one he'd always used on the Island – Hurley considered how to answer the question.

"I came to help you," he said solemnly. Waiting as the information sunk in, he wasn't surprised when Jack began to laugh. There was something about his laughter that frightened Hurley, it didn't sound at all like the Jack he knew, not that Jack had laughed much back then anyway.

"Hurley, I don't need any help." He just stared at Jack in disbelief.

"Dude, have you looked in a mirror lately? You look like the kind of crazy homeless person I would run across the street to avoid. Your apartment is filthy and you look like you haven't gotten a good night's sleep since the Island."

Hurley paused, not wanting to sound too harsh, but needing Jack to understand. Instead, all he did was laugh again. Except this time, it was the defeated laugh of someone who had given up on everything.

"I haven't had a decent night of sleep since long before the Island," he admitted.

"Either way, you really need help, man." When Jack kept shaking his head, Hurley knew it was time to play a different card.

"When was the last time you saw Kate?" He felt bad when Jack looked at him hopelessly, the pain clear in his eyes.

_But someone needs to show Jack that he has to change. And, according to Sun, that someone is me_, Hurley thought. He didn't like hurting his friend, but had learned a long time ago that things had to get worse before they got better.

The moment Hurley mentioned her name, a picture of Kate flashed before Jack's eyes. His heart pounded and he could feel his head beginning to ache again. Needing something to calm his nerves, Jack heaved himself off the couch with a sigh and made his way to the kitchen.

He searched through all the cupboards until he found a bottle that wasn't completely empty.

Pouring the contents into a glass, Jack turned to ask Hurley if he wanted some. He pretended he didn't see the disgusted look on his friend's face when he politely declined the offer.

Imagining himself through Hurley's eyes, Jack understood what his friend had been trying to tell him. He was a mess and he knew it. But he had no reason to change now. He wasn't the hero everyone had thought he was and no one needed him anymore.

He took a big gulp from the glass, liking the way the alcohol burned his throat as it went down.

"Jack, it's like...ten thirty in the morning." Turning towards Hurley's voice, Jack grimaced at the frown on his face. "Isn't it a little early to be drinking?"

_It's never too early to drink, Hurley, _Jack thought. _If only I'd started earlier..._

He finished off the liquid in his glass and poured the rest of the bottle into it. If Hurley wasn't here, then Jack would normally drink straight from the bottle. But for some reason, he wanted maintain whatever small amount of dignity he had left.

Setting down the glass once more, Jack saw his hands shaking and realized why he was so nervous. He waited until he was sure Hurley wasn't looking, then he quickly turned and grabbed the bottle of pills that was sitting on the counter. Popping a few in his mouth, he relaxed as the shakes began to subside.

Hearing a yelp behind him, Jack dropped the container, spilling pills all over the floor.

"Dammit, Hurley," he swore angrily. "What was that for?" He scrambled on the ground, picking up the pills and dumping them back in their bottle.

"Dude!" Whipping around at the sound of Hurley's voice so close behind him, Jack saw the fury in his friend's eyes and involuntarily took a step back. "I can't believe you're doing drugs now too," he exclaimed.

Despite the tense situation, Jack found himself laughing humourlessly.

"I am not 'doing drugs,' Hurley."

"Deny it all you want, Jack, but that's exactly what you're doing." He paused for a moment before adding, "And I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to mix alcohol with those."

"I'm the doctor. Trust me, I know how to look after myself."

Hurley snorted, skepticism written all over his face.

"I don't think you do, Jack. And here's my opinion. I know you don't want to hear it," he continued before Jack could interrupt, "but I don't think you have a clue. Just admit it. You don't know what to do, or who to help now, so you're doing nothing." Hurley waited for a moment to let this sink in, then he continued.

"But I know what you can do, Jack. You can clean yourself up and go back to Kate and Aaron. That's your job now – to be the family they both need. No little boy should ever have to grow up without his father."

Jack stared at the floor, ashamed to admit that everything Hurley had just said was true. He continued to gaze at his feet until he could feel his friend's patience snap.

"Look at me, Jack!"

He snapped his head up in shock and he looked straight at Hurley. Staring into his friend's face, Jack saw the tears in Hurley's eyes and realized how personal this was for him. Then, what he'd said earlier finally sunk in.

"But I'm not Aaron's father," he argued weakly. "I'm only his uncle." Jack mumbled the last part under his breath.

"Yeah well, you're the only Dad he's got," Hurley started. Then he paused, hearing what Jack said. "His uncle? What's that supposed to mean?"

Sighing, Jack began to wish he'd never said anything at all.

"What do you mean, Jack?" Hurley asked again, refusing to let the subject go and reminding Jack of himself.

"Nothing," he lied. "It's just...I guess I've always felt more like Aaron's uncle, not his father." He didn't want to talk about this anymore.

Reaching for the glass on the table, Jack stopped when he saw Hurley snatch it away.

"Don't you think you've had enough?" Anger welled up inside Jack and he glared at Hurley. He hated it when people told him what to do.

"Listen, Hurley," he spoke slowly, fury dripping from every word. "I don't know who sent you, or what you think you're going to accomplish by coming here, but go away. I don't need your help and I certainly don't need you telling me what I can and can't do." Jack snatched the glass out of his hands, spilling some of the liquid on Hurley's shirt as he did so.

"Fine," he said quietly, refusing to get mad at Jack when he clearly wasn't himself. "But don't forget about Kate and Aaron. They need you."

Before he left, Hurley turned back one last time.

"Oh, and Merry Christmas, Jack." Then he was gone. As he walked out the door, Jack thought he heard him mumble something. It sounded like, "That could have went better."

* * *

Lying awake that night, Jack couldn't stop thinking about the things Hurley had said.

_They need you_. That one phrase kept repeating in his head, over and over again. He knew his friend was right – Aaron needed a dad.

Jack was reminded of his own childhood and, with a shock, he realized how similar he had become to his own father.

"I don't want Aaron to grow up the same way I did," he said quietly. Remembering that Hurley had also mentioned Christmas, Jack checked the calendar on his phone and blinked in surprise. Christmas was in eleven days!

He couldn't believe how close the holidays were, but he felt relieved that he didn't have to stress about shopping for presents this year.

"What a scrooge," he muttered, chuckling softly. Once he said the words, a memory flashed into his mind...

_Looking at the calendar on his wall, Jack sighs heavily. It will soon be his first Christmas off the Island and he doesn't want to spend it alone with his mother. She alternates between being mad at him and acting so miserable that he worries about her sanity. _

_When he first came home from the Island, she seemed genuinely glad that he was safe. Now she just sulks and occasionally shoots a glare in his direction. This doesn't make for very good conversation, so he tries not to see her very often._

_He can't think of any way to get out of having her over for Christmas dinner however, and the inevitable gathering is looming over him. It does nothing to improve his mood, which is already bitter because he has never liked Christmas._

_When he was younger, he would always wake up on Christmas morning happy and excited to see his presents. But more importantly, he looked forward to spending time with his family. This was the one time of year when they were actually supposed to act like a family, if only for one day. And each year he hoped they would_

_As he grew up, though, he realized that his mother and father were not able to act like typical parents. Sure, they loved each other, but they had poor ways of showing their feelings. Christian would usually end up getting drunk and criticizing Jack for something or arguing with Margo. His mother, in turn would then blame Jack, demanding to know why he couldn't get along better with his father._

_Over the years he began to dread Christmas because he learned what always came along with it. And so now, with his father gone, Jack doesn't know what to expect this year. He is nervous and this makes him grumpy. Even his co-workers know by now to leave him alone during this holiday season._

_But he knows he has to get his holiday shopping done. It is something he has put off until the last minute. Christmas is in two days and he is nowhere close to being ready._

_Before he heads out the door, the phone rings. Picking it up, his is surprised to hear Kate's voice on the other end._

_Ever since he learned that Aaron is his nephew, Jack has tried to avoid Kate and the little boy she is now looking after. He doesn't want to be a father and knows he can never live up to the expectations. But he is still glad to hear her voice, even though he will never admit that he misses her._

_"Jack, I was hoping you could help me do some Christmas shopping today. I still haven't found the right gift for Aaron and I was hoping you might have some ideas," she explains quickly, her words trailing together and showing that she is nervous. He wonders why she is worried about talking to him._

_"Kate..." he says, not really sure what to tell her. She interprets his silence as a lack of enthusiasm, however, and bids him farewell._

_"Wait, don't hang up," he begs, finding himself desperate for some company. "It's not that I don't want to see you, it's just..." he trails off, unable to say more._

_"What, Jack?" she asks, her voice filled with nothing but concern for him._

_"I don't know the first thing about gifts. Especially for children. When I was young, my dad would always give me whatever he thought would help me in school. Usually books or other stuff like that. I would always ask him for one toy that I really wanted, but no matter how hard I worked or how much I behaved, he would always tell me to do better. And because he thought I wasn't trying my hardest, he would give me presents that would 'help me learn' as he always put it." He leaves out the disappointment he would feel each year when all he got for Christmas was his father's criticisms and remarks. 'You can do better, Jack,' was what Christian had always said._

_"Oh, Jack," Kate says sadly. "I'm so sorry. I didn't know." He frowns. He hadn't meant to turn this into a pity party._

_"It's fine. I don't even remember what I used to ask for anyway," he lies. The last thing he needs is her feeling sorry for him. "But I'm probably the last person you want to help shop for Aaron. And I don't like Christmas that much anyway, so I doubt I'd be very helpful." He hears a gasp on the other line._

_"You don't like Christmas?" she repeats doubtfully._

_"I don't have very many good memories of it, so no. Not really." He waits anxiously, wondering what her reaction will be._

_To his surprise, he begins to hear the sound of laughter._

_"Is this funny to you, Kate?" he wonders, confused._

_"S-sorry. But, you – you sound like such a... scrooge," she manages to say between fits of laughter. Despite the topic of conversation, he finds himself chuckling as well. He's not sure why it's so funny. Maybe hearing Kate sound so happy fills him with joy as well._

_But, no matter the reason, he is shocked to realize he is actually enjoying himself. Wanting to hold on the feeling a little bit longer, he agrees to go shopping with her._

_"Don't worry, Jack," she reassures him. "I'll show you how much fun Christmas time can be."_

Jack smiled as he remembered that afternoon he and Kate spent together. She had dragged him around from store to store until he was about to collapse. But the day was one of the best memories he had with her, and that was before they were even in a relationship.

He wished he could be that close to Kate once more.

"Maybe I can," he said aloud, thinking once more of the conversation he'd had with Hurley. And by the time Jack finally fell asleep that night, a plan had already formed in his head.

* * *

Up next: Kate gets a visitor and Jack makes a decision.


	3. Unexpected Visitors

**Chapter 3: Unexpected Visitors**

_I'll be home for Christmas.  
__You can count on me.  
__I'll be home for Christmas,  
__If only in my dreams._

Kate had just finished putting up the Christmas decorations around the house when she heard her doorbell ring. She checked on Aaron, who had fallen asleep halfway through the decorating, before making her way to the front door.

She didn't know who she had been expecting, but the face she saw staring back at her was certainly a surprise.

"Hey," he said awkwardly, looking down at his feet.

"Hurley, what are you doing here?" she asked, confused. Before he could answer, Kate was suddenly overcome with joy. It was nice to see a familiar face coming to visit her, even if he wasn't the person she was hoping to see.

Unable to contain her enthusiasm, Kate hugged him fiercely, laughing when he stood there in shock.

"You're supposed to hug me back, you know," she told him. He did, and she enjoyed the feel of his arms around her. It had been so long since she'd had any male company.

"Uhhh, Kate..." he began, sounding uncomfortable. "You can let go now." She looked down in surprise and realized she was still holding him tightly.

"Sorry," she laughed softly. "Would you like to come in?"

He nodded, grateful to get out of the cold weather. There was still a light sprinkle of snow on the ground, though most of it had washed away with the rain. The temperature was cooling down, though, and there was a slight chill in the air.

Stepping into Kate's house, Hurley was amazed to see how different it was from Jack's apartment. Where his was cluttered and filled with junk, Kate's was spotless, even though she had a three-year-old boy to look after.

_The Christmas decorations are a nice touch,_ Hurley thought, approving of Kate's designing skills.

"Your place looks great," he commented, turning to her for a response. He could see that she was lost in her own world and for a moment, Hurley was reminded of Jack. He had been distracted and spacey too, but Hurley assumed part of that was the drugs.

"Kate." She glanced over at him, a distant look in her eyes.

"Hmmmm?"

"I said your house is looking good," he repeated.

"Oh, thanks. I was just decorating with Aaron before you came." Hurley brightened at the mention of the child.

"How is my favourite kid?" he asked. "It's been such a long time since I've seen him."

"He's great, actually. Just fell asleep a while ago, so I should probably go wake him up or he'll never get to bed tonight." As she walked off down the hall, Kate looked over her shoulder and added, "You can come too, Hurley. I'm sure he'd love to see you."

He followed her into the living room and watched as she gently woke up Aaron. Hurley saw the little boy's eyes widen as he noticed him in the doorway.

"Say hi to Hurley, Aaron," Kate instructed.

"Hi Hurley," he said shyly.

"Hey buddy, how are you?" he asked playfully.

"Good," Aaron said, looking up at Hurley with a childish grin.

Kate stood quietly, watching the two interact with each other. She was amazed at how quickly Aaron warmed up to Hurley. Even though it was such a long time since they had seen each other – and her son probably didn't remember him – he was quite happy to drag Hurley around the room and show off all his toys.

Seeing the two of them together reminded Kate of when Jack used to play with Aaron. He'd made such a great dad and it had been so hard on Aaron these past few months without him. It nearly broke her heart every time her son asked where his father was...

Kate shook her head, realizing she had been staring at the wall for the past few minutes.

Turning back to Hurley and Aaron, she saw the three-year-old was getting ready to drag him upstairs. Kate decided it was time to intervene.

"How about some lunch first, huh sweetie?" she suggested to Aaron, hoping to distract him for the moment. "I bet Hurley is getting hungry too."

She couldn't help the smile that stretched across her face as her little boy turned to Hurley.

"Are you hungry?" he wondered.

"Sure, little dude. How about you?" Hurley replied, playing along.

"Me too!" Aaron confirmed.

They all headed to the kitchen, where Kate began to make some macaroni and cheese. Hurley lifted Aaron into his high-chair then helped her prepare lunch.

Soon they were all sitting down and eating mac 'n cheese, because Aaron insisted the grownups eat the same thing he was.

"So, how are you, Hurley?" Kate asked once Aaron became absorbed in his meal.

"I'm fine," he said. And before she could ask him another question, he explained. "I'm not here because anything is wrong, so you can relax. I just wanted to see how you're doing. Y'know, it's almost Christmas time and it's just you and Aaron here. Without Jack, I worry about you..."

He paused when he saw the look in Kate's eyes, and realized he had made a mistake.

"How do you know Jack and I aren't together anymore?" she demanded. "I haven't seen you in such a long time. And from what Jack told me when he last saw you, you've been in a mental institution. How did you get out of there, by the way?"

She was quiet for a moment, trying to figure it out.

"The only people who could have told you about my relationship with Jack are...Jack, obviously, and me, who you haven't talked to in months." Then she thought of the meeting with her friend a few days ago.

"Or Sun. And since I doubt you've visited Jack recently, I'm betting you got a call from Sun."

Kate hated the bitter tone that had crept into her voice, but she hated it when people gossiped about her behind her back.

"Okay, first of all, it's not like I broke out of Santa Rosa or anything," Hurley told her, wanting to clear that up. "I was allowed to go home and be with my mom and dad for the holidays. I just...kinda took a detour on the way there.

"And, yes Sun did call me. But only because she was worried about you." Then he stopped talking, trying to think of how to explain what Sun had told him. "But what you said about me visiting Jack, well..." Kate looked at him in shock.

"You've been to see him?" she demanded. But there was a bit of hope in her voice too.

Kate worked hard to keep silent and not start spouting off questions about Jack. She wanted to know how he was, if he was still drinking, or had he cleaned himself up. And she wanted to ask Hurley if Jack had said anything about her. If he missed her.

But she didn't say a word, because she didn't want Hurley to know how she still felt about him. Even though it was probably obvious she still had feelings for him, Kate didn't want to confirm it.

So she waited in silence for Hurley to explain.

As he opened his mouth to speak, however, the doorbell rang.

"Sorry, be right back," she told him, ruffling Aaron's hair before walking out of the room.

This time, when Kate opened the door, she gasped out loud.

"Jack?"

He stood there silently, a dazed expression on his face.

"What are you doing?" she hissed and was startled to hear the fury in her voice. "Why did you come here, Jack?"

He gazed at her mournfully, ignoring her anger, and Kate saw that his eyes were actually focused on her.

_He's sober_, she thought and the idea made her heart beat faster. Unwillingly, she allowed her face to soften into a neutral look, instead of a frown.

Noticing the change in her mood, Jack took a deep breath and said the one thing that Kate had been waiting for him to say for so long.

"I'm here, Kate, because I need to be."

* * *

Up next: Jack spends some quality time with Kate and Aaron, but will he be convinced to stay?


	4. Coming Home

Thank you everyone for the reviews. :)

Just to clear one thing up, I know that it doesn't snow in L.A., but for the purpose of this fic let's just pretend that it does. ;)

I've been really busy getting ready for Christmas, celebrating and then cleaning up afterward, so I'm sorry this is late. I know this chapter is really long, but I couldn't think of a way to break it up. I hope everyone had a good holiday and will have a great New Year's. :)

* * *

**Chapter 4: Coming Home**

_The best time of the year,  
__When everyone comes home.  
__With all the Christmas cheer,  
__It's hard to be alone._

"Jack..." she started, not allowing herself to believe that he was really here. Even though he was saying the words she needed to hear, she didn't want to listen to him and then have her heart broken again.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, sounding tortured. "For everything I said and for the way I've been acting, I really am sorry. I know it was stupid, but I guess I just..." he trailed off, not knowing what else to say. "Please forgive me, Kate."

She was unable to speak, not yet allowing herself to let him off the hook. This was what she wanted – to have the old Jack here again. But she wasn't sure if she could trust him yet.

He was waiting for an answer and, when she didn't give him one, he turned away.

"I get it, Kate. How can you forgive me after everything I've done? I'm sorry, I shouldn't have come here."

Watching him walk down her driveway, Kate knew she couldn't let him leave. He would just go back to his apartment and continue drinking himself to death.

Then she realized that, although Jack may have been at fault for the decisions he was making and the way he was behaving, maybe she was to blame as well. She had done nothing to help him get through this, instead she had only made things harder.

Now was her chance to repay Jack for all the times he had saved her. It was her turn to be the hero.

"Jack, wait," she called after him. He stopped halfway across the street, and Kate was amazed that he just stood there, as if waiting to see if a car would hit him. The Jack she loved would never act that way, would never be so reckless and at the same time so defeated.

"Why don't you come in for a bit?" she suggested, not wanting to give him too much encouragement, but needing him to see that she still cared.

"It's cold outside and I know I could sure use a nice cup of tea."

He continued to stand in the middle of the road and Kate knew that he was too proud to accept. He thought she was just acting out of pity and, though that was part of it, she wanted to show him there was more to her decision.

"At least come see Aaron," she pleaded, going against all the rules she had ever made to keep Jack away from her son. "He misses you, and it's almost Christmas. It would be a nice present for him to spend time with you again."

She saw him stiffen and wondered if she had gone too far. She didn't want to put the pressure of being a father back on him, because she knew that would only scare him away.

But to her astonishment, he turned around and walked back up to the house.

"You're right," he said "It is almost Christmas."

She didn't know what that was supposed to mean, but she was glad that he came back. It felt nice to know that he hadn't completely given up on her and Aaron.

Walking back to the kitchen, she was surprised to see Hurley and though she would never admit it, the truth was she had forgotten he was there.

"Who was at the door?" he asked her. When he saw Jack, his jaw dropped open in amazement.

"Dude, you came!" he exclaimed. "And you shaved!"

Jack nodded, looking out of place in the dress shirt he had chosen to wear. He shoved his hands in his pockets and leaned against the doorway.

"It was time for another change, I guess," he replied.

Kate was confused. She had seen Jack once or twice since their relationship had ended, then stopped when she realized he was destroying himself with pills and alcohol. But she still couldn't imagine him making any drastic changes to how he looked.

"Shaved?" she asked.

"Yeah, he had this really freaky lookin' beard," Hurley explained. "I'm glad you got rid of it, man."

Jack chuckled softly. Kate had always liked how Hurley was able to make him laugh.

She looked around the room, realizing it seemed emptier.

"Where's Aaron?" she asked, panicking when she saw the empty high-chair.

"Oh, he finished eating while you were at the door, so I helped him down and he went into the living room," Hurley told her.

At that moment, a little head peeked around the corner.

"Mommy?" Aaron asked.

"Come here, sweetie. There's someone who came to see you."

As Aaron ran into the room, excited at the prospect of a new friend, Kate's heart beat faster. She wondered how her son would react to seeing Jack again.

"Who is it Mommy?" he demanded, bouncing up and down.

"Hey buddy," Jack said quietly. Aaron turned to the sound of his voice, and froze. He stood still and stared at Jack, while Kate held her breath. She knew Aaron's reaction would either convince Jack to stay or make him leave once again.

The seconds ticked by and Kate could see Aaron gazing at Jack. Her son's face was strained, as if making a difficult decision.

Finally, his face lit up in a grin and he launched himself across the room.

"Jack!" he shouted happily. Kate sighed in relief and she could see Jack beginning to relax as well.

Hurley stood up, smiling hugely.

"This has been fun, but now I've gotta go," he informed them. He laughed at the stunned expressions on everyone's faces. "I have my own family to spend Christmas with, and it looks like my work here is done."

Before either Jack or Kate could protest, he hugged them both and walked down the hall. The last thing he said was, "Give me a call sometime, and Merry Christmas you guys." Then the door shut and they all fell into an awkward silence.

"That was...odd," Kate commented. When Jack didn't answer, she saw him staring into the hallway. He looked deep in thought and she frowned at the dark circles under his eyes, wondering how long it been since he'd gotten enough sleep.

"Are you hungry, Jack?" Kate asked as she began to clean the lunch mess off the table, not wanting to stand still.

He turned to her and shook his head. "Not really, but thanks."

Since he hadn't taken any pills or had anything to drink today, he was feeling vaguely nauseous. He knew it would only get worse, but he hoped to be gone before Kate could see that. He hadn't planned on staying very long anyway...

Feeling a tug on his arm, he glanced down absently and saw Aaron beaming up at him.

"Wanna see my toys, Jack?" he asked. Jack nodded, pushing away his feelings of unease. This was why he'd come here, to spend time with his... he didn't want to call them his "family" because he didn't deserve one, and wasn't sure if they still thought of him that way.

_And after what I've put them through, I don't blame them_, he reminded himself sadly. But now wasn't the time for self-pity.

He trailed behind Aaron as the little boy made his way into the living room.

Kate leaned against the kitchen counter and watched Jack sit down heavily on the floor. He waited patiently as Aaron brought out all his toys and displayed them proudly.

Her heart warmed at the sight of them spending time together once again.

When she finished cleaning up the kitchen and washing the dishes, she went to join them, taking a seat on the couch.

It took a moment before either of them noticed her and when they did, Jack gave her a small smile.

"Having fun?" she inquired. Aaron nodded happily then went back to explaining the concept of _Franklin _to Jack.

"Isn't it silly, Mommy? Jack doesn't know who Franklin is," Aaron giggled.

"So, let me get this straight, he's a talking frog?" Jack asked, playing along. Aaron shook his head in dismay.

"No! He's a turtle!" he clarified. "And he has a friend named Bear and another one named Beaver and..."

Kate tuned out her son as he continued to talk about the show and the other characters. She found herself staring at Jack, her eyes tracing the familiar outline of his face. He looked older than she remembered, as if he had aged a lot in these past few months. There were lines on his face that hadn't been there before and it saddened her to think that she had done this to him.

She jumped in surprise when Aaron stood up and brought Jack with him. She noticed he wobbled slightly and a jolt of irritation went through her. She knew that he was trying to stop using the pills, but she couldn't help but wonder how long it would be before he needed them to satisfy his craving.

She also knew that he would never ask her for help, because he was too stubborn, so he would struggle through the pain all by himself.

_Then at least I can make things easier for him right now_, she decided. Since it was almost Christmas, she was willing to give Jack another chance. _As much for him as for myself_, she realized and blushed.

"Can I get you something to drink?" she asked, then winced when she realized what he would want. To her surprise, however, he just asked for some coffee.

"Come on Jack!" Aaron begged, pulling him toward the stairs. "My room is shiny now."

When Jack looked at Kate in confusion, she explained.

"We put up some Christmas lights in his doorway and he says it makes the room sparkle. I'm sure he'd love it if you saw them." She didn't want him to feel forced to do anything, but he followed Aaron willingly enough.

Walking up the stairs behind the little boy, Jack wondered if he had made the right decision by coming here. When he saw how happy Aaron was to see him, he realized how much pain he would cause if he left again.

But his hands were starting to shake and he knew he couldn't stay for much longer.

When he saw Aaron's room, however, looking at the familiar sky wallpaper and dresser cluttered with toys, he felt at home. Seeing the bookshelf in the corner, filled with stories he had once read to his nephew, he was overcome with a sense of grief.

Why had he left, when everything he'd ever wanted was right here? He sat on Aaron's bed and put his head in his hands, cursing silently at his incredible stupidity. What was he doing here? How did he ever plan to make things right with Kate when he had abandoned her?

"Jack?" a voice asked softly. He looked up and saw Aaron standing there, a book in his hands. "Will you read, please?"

Stepping into her son's room, Kate's heart warmed at the sight that met her eyes. Jack was sitting on the bed, Aaron in his lap and a book in his hands. Peeking at the cover, she grinned when she saw what they were reading. Frosty the Snowman.

"Do you know the song?" Aaron wondered when they were finished. Kate remained hidden in the doorway, enjoying being able to see the two of them read like they used to.

"There's a song?" Jack asked, amazed. Aaron burst out laughing.

"I'll sing it for you. Frosty the snowman was a jolly, uh...happy," he stopped, unable to remember the rest of the words.

"Soul," Kate chimed in. "With a corncob pipe and a button nose and two eyes made out of coal." She strode into the room, sweeping Aaron into her arms as she handed Jack his coffee.

Her son clapped loudly. "Good job Mommy," he told her.

"Thanks honey," she told him lovingly. "Did you like the story?" Aaron nodded and began singing again. Kate joined in, but they both stopped when Jack remained silent.

"You too, Jack. Sing with us," Aaron pleaded.

"But I don't know the words, buddy," Jack reminded him. Kate turned to face him.

"Come on, Jack. Have you seriously never heard Frosty before?" she asked. She'd thought he was kidding when he told Aaron he didn't know the song.

His expression turned gloomy for a moment, then he laughed it off, not wanting to ruin the mood.

"I told you, Kate, I'm not a Christmas kind of guy. Remember?" That was when Aaron decided to speak up. He had given up on the signing and instead was watching the adults with interest.

"Caroling!" he decided. Kate thought about it for a moment while Jack sat there looking puzzled.

"He's right. His school is having a caroling night in the park this evening." She decided not to mention that she'd had no plans of attending, until now. "What do you think, Jack? Should we go?"

He looked at her queasily and she knew he was trying to come up with some excuse. But if she was going to give him a second chance and let him back into her life, there would be no more excuses.

"There's nothing like spreading some Christmas cheer to take your mind off things," she said stubbornly. She saw the colour drain from his face and she knew that he finally understood.

Jack felt his stomach clench, whether from withdrawal or fear, he didn't know. But he did know that Kate understood what he was trying to do, and that she wasn't going to make it easy for him. She wasn't going to let him mope around, especially not at Christmas time.

And in a way, that was a good idea. If he didn't have a reason to change and get better, then he would just go back to his old self. He knew it, and now he saw that Kate knew it too. She wasn't going to let that happen, and the truth was he didn't want to be that way again either.

_It's time to change, Jack_, he thought to himself. _And I guess that change involves caroling._

Out loud he said, "Sure. Sounds great."

Aaron jumped up and down in excitement, then ran downstairs to get his coat.

Kate went down the stairs after him, motioning to Jack that he should come too. He sat on the bed for another moment, looking around the room and recalling many nights he had spent in here with his nephew.

That was when he noticed a picture on the dresser. It was of him and Aaron one day at the park. They were both sitting on the swings, the child on his lap, and Jack remembered Kate trying to take the picture while worrying that they would break the seat.

A smile formed on his lips and he gazed at it for another moment before getting up and heading downstairs.

At the bottom of the steps he met head-on with Aaron, dressed in his snow pants and winter coat. It wasn't snowing yet, but the sky had been dark enough this afternoon that it still could.

"Just about ready to go?" he asked Kate as she helped the child put on his gloves.

She nodded at him with a smile on her lips, but Jack saw that it didn't reach her eyes. When she headed to the closet to get her own coat, he followed her.

"What's wrong, Kate?" he inquired. If she was having doubts now, then he didn't know how he was ever going to get through this.

She looked at him and her gaze hardened in defiance.

"We can't do this. _I _can't do this, Jack." He couldn't believe what he was hearing. His hands began to shake and he clenched them into fists to control the sudden anger he felt.

"Why the hell not?" he nearly shouted. They both spun around to check on Aaron, who was struggling to put his boots on. The child sat on the floor, oblivious to the conversation Jack and Kate were having.

As Jack looked back at her, Kate saw the familiar spark of anger in his eyes. This was the Jack she had seen on the night he'd left. And if he was going to act this way again, she didn't want him around her son, second chance or not. He needed to learn how to control his temper, or this was never going to work.

"Get out," she hissed at him. She knew it would hurt Aaron if Jack did not go caroling, but it was better for them both in the long run. The pain Jack could cause if he didn't smarten up would be much worse than the disappointment Aaron would feel right now.

Jack froze when he heard the venom in Kate's words. It was as if he shut down and Kate watched as the anger drained from his face, leaving him looking tired and haggard.

"Kate," he pleaded, but she stayed firm. She would not back down this time. "Why?"

She was astounded that he didn't understand.

"Because I can't have this part of you, this angry, bitter person around my son." She threw the words at him, almost the same ones she had said on the night of their breakup.

She watched as he looked down in shame, then straightened again.

"I know." Kate was confused. If Jack accepted her decision and was aware of the reasoning behind it, then why had he asked? Just to make her say it once more?

"What I meant was why can't you 'do this'?" he clarified. That stopped Kate in her tracks and without knowing what she was doing, she threw herself into his arms.

Sobbing, she tried to speak through her tears. "If you leave again, I, I don't know what I'll do," she managed. "Aaron will be heartbroken and I can't let that happen again."

She pushed herself away from him, terrified of what he would say, but also furious that she had to explain it to him.

Kate wasn't expecting it when Jack's arms reached out and he pulled her into a fierce hug. He stroked her hair and held her tightly, as if never wanting to let go.

"Oh Kate..." he sighed. "I will never leave you, or Aaron. I promise." She stiffened in his arms and she knew he felt it, because he released her.

Stepping away from the warmth of his embrace, she felt cold. Kate glared at him but he didn't give in. She could tell by the determined look on his face that he was going to finish whatever he was trying to tell her, even if it took all night. So she continued to frown at him in anger, but stayed silent.

"Being here today helped me realize that I never should have left in the first place. I was stupid and afraid that I wouldn't be a good enough father to Aaron and I just couldn't handle the pressure." He paused to study her expression, but she wasn't giving anything away, so he continued.

"I'm here now, though and, if you'll let me, I'd like to stay. I know I have some things to work on, but I can get through it, Kate. I don't want to be alone anymore. I want to spend Christmas with you, this year and every year after for the rest of my life. I'd like to come home. To my family."

When he finished, Kate found herself crying for the second time that night. She'd been waiting for so long and it finally seemed as though Jack had made up his mind. He had chosen her.

That was enough to make her forget any reason she'd ever had to keep him away. She wrapped her arms around him and squeezed, enjoying the way he tightened his grip on her in response. She stood on her toes and kissed him, feeling herself melt into the familiarity of the kiss.

It was the same as it had always been, but also so different because it was filled with passion and the assurance that she would never be alone again.

They both got caught up in the moment and were about to head upstairs when she heard a small voice asking if they were ready to go.

Whirling away from Jack in embarrassment, Kate noticed Aaron still sitting on the floor. He had finally gotten his boots on, but had put them on the wrong feet.

She laughed and bent down to help him.

"Hurry up, Mommy," he begged. "Let's go."

She stood up and walked over to Jack. Grabbing a Santa hat from the closet and placing it on his head, she put on her coat and scarf while laughing as he looked at her in bewilderment.

"Okay, baby," she said to Aaron. "We're ready to go."

Stepping outside into the cold winter night, she saw that it had begun to snow. A thin layer already covered the ground and Aaron leaped around joyfully on the front lawn.

"It's snowing, Mommy," he exclaimed with glee.

"Yes it is, sweetie," she assured him.

Suddenly, she felt a hand grasp hers and she looked up to see Jack smiling down at her.

"Merry early Christmas, Kate," he whispered in her ear. She didn't know if he was referring to the snow or his presence, but she realized it didn't matter. He was here now and that's what counted.

"Merry Christmas, Jack," she replied and hugged him again, reassuring herself that he was really here. And here to stay.

Then he kissed her once more as the snow fell around them, and with the happy shouts of her son filling the air, it finally began to feel like Christmas.

_And all the dreams of children,  
__What's lost will all be found.  
__That's all I want  
__When Christmas comes to town._

* * *

_5 Days Later – Seoul, South Korea_

Sun smiled as she picked up the phone and heard what Hurley had to say.

"Your plan worked, Sun," he told her. "Jack and Kate will definitely be spending Christmas together. In fact, they invited me and my family over for dinner on Christmas day."

Sun was surprised at the unexpected turn-around of their relationship, but happy for the two at the same time. After all they had done for everyone on the Island, they deserved their own happiness now.

She focused her attention on Hurley when she noticed he was still talking.

"You're invited too, by the way," he was saying. "For Christmas dinner. Kate said to bring Ji Yeon, 'cause Aaron would love to play with her."

Sun's heart warmed at the thought of spending time with people she cared about. Without Jin she was so lonely and it would be nice to have friends around her once more.

"It sounds wonderful, Hurley," she told him. "Please tell Jack and Kate that I accept the invitation and will be looking forward to it."

He was silent for a moment.

"Oh, yeah. There was something Kate wanted me to tell you. Ummm," he tried to remember exactly what she had said. "She wants me to tell you to check your mail, you should be getting something from her and Jack soon."

After that the two of them quickly said good-bye and made plans to pick Sun and her daughter up from the airport in two days.

As soon as she hung up the phone, Sun walked to her kitchen table and sorted through the mail she had gotten up earlier that day. One of the envelopes was addressed to her and the return stamp showed it came from Los Angeles.

She opened it carefully and was astonished when a picture fell out. It was one of Jack, Kate and Aaron. They were in what looked like a park, except the ground was covered in snow. Aaron was riding on Jack's shoulders and had a huge grin on his face. Jack was wearing a Santa hat and one of his arms was wrapped around Kate's waist. And even though Kate was pretending to look at the camera, Sun saw that she was really gazing up at Jack in adoration. He couldn't keep his eyes off her either.

They looked happier than Sun had ever seen them and she was glad that Kate had finally gotten what she wanted for Christmas.

Inside the card were the words _Merry Christmas, from our family. _And underneath that, Kate had written _Thank you Sun, for everything_.

* * *

And that's the end, folks! Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays. :)


End file.
